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Random quote: "Father, unless I judge I cannot weep." ~~ Wkb
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   General Discussion -> The Gathering Place (TGP)Message format
 
Amminadab
Posted 2003-03-11 10:56 PM (#4844 - in reply to #4835)
Subject: Ain't Happenin'


Originally written by amena on 2003-03-11 9:19 PM

i  think you owe sandra an apology here babe.

No. I'm tired of apologizing.  So far, apologies have brought me only grief. My comment was perfectly appropriate in the context of the quoted portion of what sandra wrote.  Besides, she would not believe my apology even if i felt like offering one.

It seems that i'm gonna be the bad guy no matter what i do.  If i'm gonna be the bad guy, then i'm going to be MY kind of bad guy. This process of reaching out and trying to force a healing....... is leaving me feeling abused.  I don't like feeling abused.

i believe maedell intended this to be something special to share with you as her extension of friendship and healing. at least that is how i interpreted it.

That doesn't cut it out in the world, why should it cut anything here? You don't spread lies about someone while crusading against their perverting a holy text...... and then talk nonsense about some phony change of heart without addressing the lies and crusade.  Either she is too damn proud to say "i'm sorry"...... or she still believes the lies and feels justified in retaining her judgments.

She is trying to sound holy and righteous..... without extending in a holy and righteous way. And i will not validate that. It is dishonest.  None of this will work until she wants healing more than she wants her precious grievance. Nothing has changed. 

 i know it has been a frustrating relationship......... but we have all invested too much time to bail now.

Money in the bank benefits through compound interest.  Sometimes you just have to leave the investment be..... until it finally comes to fruition.  I might be willing to try again some time...... but right now maedell just doesn't seem ready.  I'm not asking for too much...... as a society we say "i'm sorry" for even the most casual of things.  The only reason she won't say it, is because she feels she will compromise her integrity if she does.  Even after my explanation of the facts, she still believes her lies are true.  She thinks i'm a thief. And she thinks my words and deeds are a perversion of a holy teaching.  She thinks my LIFE..... is a perversion of a holy teaching.

And you think i should spend my time and energy with someone who thinks so poorly of me?  Why don't you go to katie's board and invite her into an extended relationship...... you dig?

Personally..... i don't really care much what maedell says about me...... the lies are of little concern, because they are easily shown to be false to anybody willing to listen.  But it is certainly something to be addressed in event of entering into some relationship.

Even Jesus didn't hang with those who were trying to tear him down....... He called them snakes and vipers........ and He said some terribly unflattering things about them....... and He spoke honestly.

You interpreted her as extending in friendship and healing...... that would seem to mean that she wishes me well......... and i don't think i can believe that for as long as she thinks me a thief and dishonest and a perverter of what is holy.

She has now had 5 great healings concerning me....... yet she can't retract the lies? I don't buy it.  I'm not validating it.

I'm sorry.

I love you,
Amminadab

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