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Random quote: "The more humility infuses itself into you, and the more allowing you are of it, the less opaque your mind becomes, and the more light that can shine through." ~ Raj
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From the Seth List
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Posted 2003-02-27 9:11 AM (#3569)
Subject: From the Seth List


Excuse Me, Your LIFE Is Waiting

Yes! Yes! That, That and That! (Chapter 4)

The Torture of Wanting

As we back gently into the rather startling awareness that everything in our experience has come from our focus and how we've been feeling, it's probably only natural we should think, "Well, wanting may be okay for others, but I'm not about to start daydreaming like that now. My life's all right, I've gotten by, so why should I open myself up to more disappointments at this point?"

We see all the things we would like to have but don't, all the places we would like to be but aren't, all the ladders we would like to have climbed but didn't. When very little has gone the way we would have deliberately chosen, why start wanting now? It's the old "The more I want, the less I get" scenario, along with the other side of the same coin that says, "Sure I have lots of desires and Wants, but I don't ever expect to get them anyhow."

Sad to say, we've been brainwashed into believing that most Wants are not only self-serving egotistical no-no's, but absurdly impossible. Do you remember when you were in, say, third or fourth grade? Not only were you old enough then to understand disappointment and how much it hurt, but you were already a seasoned veteran at knowing how to avoid those feelings. You found out early in life that the more you wanted something, the more you experienced the heartache of not having it. You probably just stopped wanting unless, of course, you had an ironclad guarantee that your Want would materialize.

Even before that, as a toddler who relished exploring, you waddled over to the glittering glass vase on the TV set and got screamed at: "No, no, don't touch!" Not once, not hundreds of times, but some sixty thousand times (say researchers) in a three-year period you were told, "No, bad, you don't want that!" By the time you reached your fourth birthday, you were thinking twice about wanting much of anything. Wanting equated to "bad."

Nor does it stop after toddler years. "No" to this, "no" to that, "absolutely not" to what seems like just about everything as you're growing up. By the time you get to high school, it's pretty tough to do much real
wanting beyond what is socially acceptable, like getting your first car, going to the prom, or working your way through college. God forbid you should want to bum around the world until you think of something else better to do. God forbid you should want to become a millionaire by next year. "Ridiculous! Get your head out of the clouds." So most of us just lay those passions aside as we trudge into the dogmatic Shoulds and Have To's of adulthood.

We have seen the great truth which states: The more we want something outside of society's book of rules, the surer we seem to be of not getting it. We dream, it never happens. We dream a little more, it doesn't come. Pretty soon we bow to the fictitious truth that dreaming of or wanting anything outside of the norm (and often even within the norm) is just not a fun thing to do. The more we want it, the worse we feel for not getting it.

Finally, with the exception of the littlest dreams, the ones we know are prudent and obtainable, we stop dreaming altogether. And there we stay, in the bleak sanctuary of Sameville, protected by the erroneous belief that if we dream small and nothing happens, we won't be hurt big.

Dear God in heaven, what a way we've chosen to live.

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