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Finding the guts to say NO
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Field of Flowers
Posted 2003-02-24 2:51 PM (#3301)
Subject: Finding the guts to say NO



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Location: Aquitaine ...France
On Mondays,I work as an aromatherapist in two different residential homes for the elderly. Most of the residents suffer with dementia and very few of my conversations with them make much sense, but they enjoy the one to one attention. And I enjoy their enjoyment.
I see many things that offend my sensitive nature and do what I can to help the residents to be more comfortable, even though it's not my job. I wash faces that still have the remains of breakfast on them. I wrap chilly ladies in blankets, I look for glasses that are lost. Find an extra cushion to make someone more comfortable and pester the staff if someone has wet themselves until they take heed and change them.
Sometimes I think that I will be given my notice as I know that I overstep the mark. I'm sure that a few members of staff find me a pain in the neck.
I have felt that I should speak to the owner of the home when I see things that trouble me, but I'm not very brave and she's always in a rush.

This morning before going to work I sat and meditated for half an hour and asked God to guide me to do his will
Whilst giving Margaret one of my ladies a head massage I noticed that her cardigan was covered in food, so when I'd finished I said that I'd get her a clean one from her room.
As I was going there, I noticed that the door to another lady's room was open. This lady has Alchziemers,is bedridden and unable to communicate in anyway.
There were two carers with her, one either side of her bed, discussing their plans for their days off, while she lay completely naked, unable to move and obviously cold.
I presume that they were changing her bed, but their plans were obviously more important and they were ignoring her basic needs.
My instinct was to rush in and cover her up, but I'm the aromatherapist and I have to be careful not to interfere, so I found a clean cardigan for Margaret and left.
I was really upset at the lack of consideration shown by the carers and spoke to someone about it. She suggested that I told the secretary, but because of my fear of making a fuss I chickened out.
I got on with my job and was deep in thought with regards to what I'd seen and what I could do.
A few minutes later whilst massaging a gentleman, the owner of the home appeared and started talking to me about this and that.
Now I have been working for her for over a year and she's scarcely had time to say more than hello!!
She chatted for ages and all the time I was being 'prodded' to tell her of the pain I felt at what I'd seen.
Finally I found the courage to speak. She listened sympathetically and agreed with my observations saying that no matter how much the staff are trained, they still forget their training. She promised to speak to them and also asked me to tell her personally if I saw anything that I felt needed her attention in the future.
She made me feel that my presence was needed in the home and that the residents really benefited from their massages.
So there you are I faced the alter and finally found the guts to say NO.
Sweet thoughts
Heather


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