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Random quote: "HUMILITY IS THE WILLINGNESS TO RELEASE THE STIMULATING DYNAMIC OF CONFLICT, CHAOS, AND THE SURMOUNTING OF IT." ~~ Raj
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Well... here it is... the New year 20/20
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roxana
Posted 2020-01-01 9:21 AM (#233560)
Subject: Well... here it is... the New year 20/20


500020001000100100100

 

was it just a coincidence that my first response to the universe this morning was:  Can we hurry up now?

 

Just prior to that I was aware that death is a suicide.  Raj has said that, but it is another thing to have forgotten what Raj said and then, after some difficulty at home which thankfully resolved into a greater conviction to hold out for Peace and Faith, the awareness came that the difficulty which appeared was a disguised, willful deathwish.  A willful wish to be done with difficulty. In contemplating that for a moment I realized that it is the absence of the experience of Peace which causes some brothers or sisters to seek to destroy, or to willfully get rid of lack (of peace). And it doesn't matter whether the belief is in manipulating the appearance [which we've referred to as the 3 dimensional or object(ive) frame of reference] or whether is it an act of emotional and spiritual righteous suffering. 

Where the motivation comes from doesn't seem to matter at all, the end result is the same.  An objectified appearance of separation between God and man, between Spirit and Earth (appearance),  and then, at the 'end' of it all, is the tantalizing and acceptable carrot-form of this belief in separation as the belief in heaven and earth.   A place to go to other than Life, living earth; heaven, a better place.  

 

There is one other form of separation which is not so obvious and that is the experience of life as lack of joy, the experience of lack of fulfillment, i.e., the lack of experience of Good Go(o)d.  

 

Ok.  The above  is rather a big mouthful.  But i want to point to the Movement which has made the clarity available.  I want to highlight the movement of our togetherness here which has made possible, for me, a deeper peace. 

During the last year or so, particularly after mom's passing, I have had more time and more motivation to Ask for clarity, for Truth. 

 

It was William's openness on the subject of our mortality which helped me feel not so alone in a great dark sea of confusion.  Confusion between my gut feeling or soul, (very much like what Raj  and Paul have shared with us) and the appearance or my life experience. 

It gave me courage to ask more directly and precisely for a way to experience congruence in me.  For a way to believe in what seems impossible, the driving through a wall, renewal, or the appearance of youth or youthing (Raj)  if these are, in deed, the Truth.  So I had been asking,  Father,  what is it like to Live without aging, without feeling and looking old? Much of this desire was also motivated by my experience of living close to and being involved with younger folk. 

 

I know for a fact that I have experienced seeing others youthed.  Where did this appearance come from?  Why? And why didn't it last?  Why do I have the evidence of age even though I don't hold that belief as necessary or true? 

But it is not so much even that I have the wherewith to ask because of my appearance, it is more the desire to really honor and connect with the Integrity in the younger ones and also the occasional appearance of youth in others, which has awakened my curiosity and need to Know. 

It has been here, on TGP, in the context of our togetherness, our seeking together for the Truth that sets us  (every one) free, where the prompts for me to dare to Ask keep coming. They come in order and with the kindness inherent in every one who shares.  At this point I dare to believe that the Foundation's need expressed almost monthly in the form of finances, is another way in which the need for awakening is being presented.  

 

For me, the Movement that unfolds Clarity has snowballed since William's testimony for the need for Truth.  And everyone's timely contributions have furthered the appearance of Clarity, one step at a time.

 

The loneliness I had spoken of is decreasing as I dare to face this need for clarity.  I find myself having enough of it to continue with another day.... until such time when the concept of 'another day' no longer is an effort of some kind, or better yet, when 'another day' ceases to be a concept at all and the Experience is instead like the fluid, joyful Movement of Life with Father. 

Clarity and Truth appearing and registering, 20/20, like in our symbol for perfect eyesight.  

 

 



Edited by roxana 2020-01-01 9:57 AM
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