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Random quote: "either your teaching what causes sudden shifts of perception to occur... healing..... or you are doing what inhibits sudden shifts of perception. you are doing one or the other.... own it. you are teaching one or the other... fully........with commitment.. aggressively. you are either teaching that which unifies.,.. or that which divides...... and you are teaching it with the power of the Christ that you are." ~ Raj.
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So here’s the miracle,the sudden shift of percepti
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mark
Posted 2003-02-04 5:38 PM (#1460)
Subject: So here’s the miracle,the sudden shift of percepti


Regular

Posts: 54
2525
Location: montreal,canada

I FEEL good now, I feel life inside ,the difference is as contrasting as darkness and light.
Here’s my wisdom,looking back on my experience of the past 5 days of feeling hell and then not.

I went to bed Thursday night with the thought : « life will let me down, life is effort etc.. »
I woke up the next morning feeling down with no energy,no life inside, just physically tired. I couldn’t get into my peace , my thoughts we’re too unsettling. I reached out for help and your words of advice helped to calm my negative thoughts. Today, through the dense bushes of my negativity, I felt like giving some clothes that I had been wanting to give to the « source of life » shop which helps poor people. I talked with some people there and with different people during the day, just being with them, listening.
And as you all said yesterday: helping people, just being present with them on their behalf, does make you feel better. So I was feeling better, I stopped feeding my negativity and something else came through in it’s absence. I then shoveled the foot of snow that had just fallen on our small town, and that helped stir up the life inside of me, it wasn’t easy at first but it became easier; a bit like moving some rusted tool that hadn’t been used for a while.
I’ve realized,I’ve felt, that I need others; that when I’m present with them I feel life,love stirring up inside of me and urging to be expressed, and when it does that person,the object of my affection, is blessed and I am too. 

As for my insecurity regarding being taken care of by life, I’ll stay in that place,the Now , where I always feel peace(so long as I’m not distacted from it by paying attention to my fears(future)).
I’m not in control and I realize it more and more but my ego fears sure do shake the boat sometimes, which is good because I can’t be safe on a boat, rowing against the current of life. I’ll eventually tire from it, or capsize and gently sink deep into the ocean of life.

sincerely, mark
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