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Random quote: "YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOUR WAY INTO THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN GET INTO THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS TO FEEL YOUR WAY IN." ~~ Raj
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In the Spirit of Sharing -- 27-31 January 2003
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Gerald Gonzalez
Posted 2003-01-31 8:54 PM (#1102)
Subject: In the Spirit of Sharing -- 27-31 January 2003


Regular

Posts: 58
2525
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico
27 January 2003 (Mon. p.m.)

Gerald: Last night's dreams seemed to be filled with images of
attempting to hang on to what I identified as past sources of security.
For example, there was the part about trying to postpone the date of my
resignation until after April 15th. And then there was the part about
trying to establish that I really hadn't severed my military service by
relinquishing my commission. And also the part about trying to see if I
still had my commission as general counsel of a state agency or a
director with the Attorney General so I could ensure that I was still
employed. What is going on?

Guidance: As you wrote that you noticed how the term "commission" kept
appearing in your dreams. There is a connection here between the
appearance of that term in your dreams and your ego's perception that
working for the county commission is somehow a source of security. And
yet the crashing of the Air Force plane served as a reminder that your
security does not come from the ‘trappings' of what you have identified
as security in the past.

Gerald: I did provide a copy of my resume to the commissioners on
Friday -- at least those who hadn't received a copy before. And I felt
I was being ‘told' that this was ‘okay.' Was I ‘hearing' that
accurately?

Guidance: Yes, but you were also told not to make an emotional
investment in your action of distributing your resume; there is a larger
purpose being served here than anything your ego can imagine....

29 January 2003 (Wed. a.m.)

Gerald: Yesterday was an amazing day. I wrote the preceding part of
this guidance late in the afternoon day-before-yesterday. Then I went
home at the end of the day and just let it ‘sit there.' Yesterday
morning I went in to work and had hardly been there for five minutes
before my friend who has been pursuing the county manager position (and
is currently acting county manager) called me into his office and told
me that he had received what was tantamount to a viable offer to go work
for an association that he had worked for before coming back to the
county as the county attorney. And he was inclined to take the offer
and so I might want to re-think whether to submit my application for the
county manager position.... He said he hadn't made up his mind yet, but
that he wanted to visit with me some more over lunch. He also talked
about what he saw as dwindling support for him among the county
commission members and about the difficulty of relating to some of the
individual commission members. And he spoke of his developing
relationship with his guidance -- which we had discussed just before the
end of the day at work last Friday. Afterwards, he sat in on the
regularly scheduled county commission meeting as acting county manager
in the morning and I took my place beside him as acting county
attorney. After the morning session we went to lunch together and he
continued to tell me that if he received a firm offer from the
association that would preserve his present salary level (and possibly
increase it somewhat), he would probably take it because it was less
stressful. He said he was thinking of withdrawing his application for
the county manager position by the Friday deadline. Later, at the end
of the afternoon portion of the commission meeting I overheard one of
the attendees telling him that the head of the association wanted my
friend to come and work for the association "really badly." I then left
for a very short dinner with Carey at home and we visited about the
day's amazing developments. And so I am taking it all in and asking for
guidance here, for help in seeing what is Real here.

Guidance: As you wrote all of that out, you acknowledged that
yesterday occurred without your ‘having to do a single thing.' Even
distributing your resume day before yesterday did not affect the turn of
events yesterday. And what is Real, what you are being shown, is that
God is not only fully capable of providing you with your Good, but that
your Good is there for you ... and will be given to you in totally
unanticipated and surprising ways if you will ‘get out of the way' and
stop trying to provide your good for yourself on your own. And I am
going to say, again, that this is not about ‘getting a better job.' All
that is occurring is about providing you with deeper knowledge ... with
the clearer opportunity to fully acknowledge ... that the Real exists.
And what is Real is going on despite your ego's efforts to distract you
and to try to demonstrate to you that it is in charge and that you
should not pay attention to what God is expressing constantly. And that
you Are that Expression and that you As that Expression are much larger
than your ego can possibly grasp and cannot afford to have you grasp.
And I am going to repeat myself here because it bears repeating: this is
not about you getting a job. All that is occurring is about your
finding yourself confronted with being God's Expression through giving
the gift of Who you Are. And if there is anything to be cautious about
here, it is not moving into what is occurring with the notion that now
you can go apply for the county manager position and you will get it and
everything will be ‘hunky dorey' because you got a job you had wanted.
The county manager position -- or any position you find yourself in – is
simply the ‘outer manifestation,' you might say, of your Movement. And
that Movement is about expressing who you Are to your sisters and
brothers by continuing to acknowledge their Worth. And in this instance
that acknowledgment took the form of your ‘doing the work' of not
judging your brother, your friend, for his own attempts to better
himself at what seemed to be your expense. And the outcome of your
‘doing the work' was something totally unanticipated and completely
wholizing. Completely holy. Because in the end, your brother is making
contact with his own Guidance and is also being presented with an
unanticipated opportunity to do work that he truly loves. And you are
being presented with the opportunity to approach your ‘work' in a
totally new way. In a way that does not involve ‘going to work' in the
usual sense, but that involves you approaching each day, each moment, as
a means of being the presence of Love. As an ever-new, ever-fresh means
of extending to your sisters and brothers the recognition of their
Worth. And thereby allowing what is Real to become visible to you and
to visible to them as well.

Gerald: In other words, my ‘work' is about turning toward the Altar
and thereby finding my way Home right through the middle of my sisters
and brothers as you recently put it?

Guidance: Yes, and discovering that the ‘way Home' positions you in
the middle of the Kingdom of Heaven which is right here, right now. It
positions you in the Kingdom by uncovering what is Real and has been
present all along.

Gerald: Yesterday really reinforced for me that there is ‘something
going on' that is like a ‘hidden reality' that only needs me to ‘hook
into it' to operate. It's feels a little like being in the land of Oz
where lots of things seem to be ‘going on' and then suddenly you turn a
corner and realize that there's something underneath what seems to be
‘going on' that is real.

Guidance: And I am here to tell you that this is true.

Gerald: It feels like I have been wasting so much time and effort in
thrashing around with what I was seeing as ‘real'....

Guidance: (Smiling deeply) Ahh...you are getting your first clear
‘taste' of what is Real. And I will tell you that this is only the
beginning....

Gerald: I also had the sense as you said that of how important it is
to stay ‘right with' what is being expressed in the moment, rather than
rushing ahead again, trying to ‘make things happen'....

Guidance: And you noticed that the rushing ahead puts you ‘in front of
your Joy' ... where it can't be felt ... rather than right in the
middle of your Joy.

Gerald: I am also sensing how ‘large' what is Real truly is -- that
is, I guess I am sensing how much larger it is than anything I am
capable of conceiving of....

Guidance: When I have said that God's Expression is infinite, there is
a meaning to those words that must be experienced, and cannot be
understood. But the words are always used deliberately, never
metaphorically -- which is how they are often taken in because the
intellect is not capable of true meaning. It is the ego's way of
‘approximating' what is Real, you might say. Approximating by
‘manipulating' a limited part of what is limitless, what is infinite.
And so it can never come close to what is Real. Which is why "reality"
with the ego is always shifting and is always distorted.... It is
unnecessary to say more about this because our ‘work' together, our
relationship, is not about figuring out the ego. Our focus is on
‘getting' what is Real more and more clearly.

Gerald: Thank you so much.

Guidance: And thank you for being here with Us.

29 January 2003 (Wed a.m.)

Gerald: I have been sensing this morning that there is ‘more’ for me
to pay attention to about the shift that has occurred regarding my ‘work
situation’….

Guidance: Yes, you must continue to make no assumptions about what
will occur with regard to this. It is important to continue to listen
and to be present in the moment.

Gerald: So the amazing shift of yesterday does not necessarily imply
that I will get the county manager position or even the county attorney
position…?

Guidance: The likelihood is that you would get the county manager
position. But there are no guarantees, no.

Gerald: My friend this morning was cautioning me about applying for
the position and asking if that was what I wanted to do. Sort of
filling me in on the ‘dangers’ of what that would entail….

Guidance: And your response was …?

Gerald: Well, I honestly had some fear come up – which told me I had
turned from the Altar. And so I have been reminding myself to turn back
toward the Altar and that’s why I’m here, continuing this dialogue….

Guidance: The fear here is totally inappropriate. What is appropriate
is to continue to ‘stay out of the way’ of the Movement that is
occurring. That does not mean that you are not part of the expression
of God’s Movement that is occurring. But it means that your
‘participation’ in that expression must be based on continuing to ask to
be shown what is Real. And what is Real is love.

30 January 2003 (Thu.)

Gerald: So…to continue our dialogue from yesterday, what should I pay
attention to today? Where should I place my attention so I continue to
stay connected with my Essential Being?

Guidance: You are reminded again that what is ‘going on’ is not about
a job. Or about getting you more resources (usually translated into
‘money’) or anything other than being present for your sisters and
brothers as a reminder of the Love they Are. And this means continuing
to withdraw judgment whenever you are ‘tempted’ to do so. As you do
this, you call to that in them which constitutes their Essential Being,
as well. You remind them that there is ‘something’ present which is
Real and which is larger than what they presently conceive and perceive
‘reality’ to be. You become the demonstration that the beliefs they
have constructed which confine them to their individually-defined limits
can be transcended.

31 January 2003 (Fri. p.m.)

Gerald: I am apparently ‘being moved.’ I had decided not to file an
application for the county manager position until I was ‘told’ to do
so. Yesterday evening my friend told me that he had decided not to
apply and that I should file my application. So I prepared my
application. Then, this morning, as I walked into work the personnel
officer told me that she had spoken to my friend and that she had taken
the liberty of preparing copies of my resume to submit, but did I have a
more updated version. At that point there was no choice but to give her
the cover letter and resume I had prepared the day before. So there
seems to have been a shift in energy….

Guidance: Movement is, indeed, occurring.

Gerald: I am a little overwhelmed by it all. But I know that I should
not make any assumptions about what is ahead….

Guidance: (Smiling) …Nor what is ‘behind.’ And by that I mean that
nothing is what it appears to be. So continue to ask to be shown what
is Real here.

Gerald: Thank you for the reminder. And I ask that you continue to
remind me….

Guidance: We are here…


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