Posted 2020-01-23 4:43 AM (#233873 - in reply to #233868) Subject: RE: I'm waking up!
Hi! I am grateful for your sharing, for joining with me in conversation here.
Actually my expression of "I'm waking up!" was (still is) a truly joyful one. I had a moment, a few moments in which I was led through an awareness of the wonder of more of Life, more of Consciousness unfolding. And with it came the realization that, in spite of any fears to the contrary, I was, am, waking up, not dying. And that, i believe, is for all of us. It is happening for, and available to all of us.
So what happened is that after listening to Adya on that short clip you posted a link to, another one came one, it was called something like The Paradox of unity and spirituality autonomy, and I listened to that.
i enjoyed learning during this time. At certain points in Adya's talk, I could feel/hear Raj very clearly filling in, explaining or giving context. So the next morning, in those moments after waking up from sleeping but not yet engaging consciously with the familiar of my day (maybe you and others have that experience of waking up slowly like that too?) I feel I was shown in a way that felt like experiential moments, some of the abundance of Being, of my Being when experienced from beyond my most familiar current frame of reference. My current frame of reference meaning the person or individual who lives here, does this and that, interacts so and so.
I have already shared that for a while I had been feeling lonely. Not so much alone but lonely. I was also finding myself feeling bored, something I've not been familiar with in the past. So lonely and bored had me reaching for more without knowing What that might be. When I had that experience of listening to Adya and Raj, together with the morning waking experience, the realization clicked that More is intending to register. The More is just outside the boundaries of what i am familiar with. And it is there for me, or as we'd say, it is mine. I don't have to do anything to get it, deserve it... I don't have to die for it. And so this is what Raj is intending. That i, we, take ownership of it, that we accept it. That I be certain it is Real and it is available. It isn't just a pep talk, a dream, an encouragement.
And by golly! Maan! How absolutely lovely it feels to finally feel one's fullness. Everything that one felt had been missing and which one either strived for or endured for or waited for, or hoped for, or dreamed about. To finally be reunited with it, with one's awareness and experience of It. That is Wholeness. How very lovely, truly lovely.
And so i got out of bed with wonder and joy, knowing that this what is going on with me, us.
oh, but least it happens to you while reading me here as i use the familiar terms of Wholeness and all that... i really want to point to something that has happened to me when reading or referring to that word/idea.
For some reason, the word/idea of wholeness has never conveyed to me the fullness that it is. Maybe it is because when one uses the word, it is only like an instrument or a like a pictograph of the real thing. Imagine a kiss for instance. That can be very full... like when a young child seeks to kiss your lips or... yeah... you get it. So thee experience does not convey with the word kiss, specially if one hasn't had the experience of it.
And so, for me, the idea of Wholeness was always something great and grand and out there.
What actually happened during my experience is that I became very aware of how I, you know, just me here, is the one that has/is all that fullness. I'm just letting tiny bits of it in. that is the only difference. Maybe one could use the example of eye glasses. i've heard that when there is an improvement in the ability to see (like with my grandaughter of 5 who just got some glasses yesterday) there is joy. There is a joy that comes from the fuller sense of being more able. The joy of less strain, more clarity. And it is all hers!!
So i just wanted to make sure that you won't feel discouraged that you have a blank page.... as white as snow That's ok...you'll just LOVE how your awareness fills in.
And, I expressed my joy at the fact that it is Real that we are waking up. And i said I was waking up. I'd love to be able to say, "I'm awake!", and not have to go through difficulty at all. But together we can help each other remember what the Truth actually is.
Once again, i am really grateful for you and for everyone. And for the willingness to share and be present to the best of everyone's ability even though at times we may feel we having nothing uplifting to offer.